10 things I am far too lazy to do in this life
This is a thoughtfully constructed list of things that are too hard to do, or that exhaust me in the mere contemplation of doing them.
So here it is. I am far too lazy to:
1. Pull on leggings or socks that are tight. They need to be loose and slip on in a second or I’ll just remain cold.
2. Stand up from my bed to fetch something that could potentially be reached by hooking it with a toe or by doing some Olympic stretching. This truly is me, all the time:
3. Come up with a new outfit if the one I wore yesterday isn’t really dirty and the people who saw me in it then are not the same as those who will see me in it today.
4. Unlock my car door manually. The battery on my remote key died for a week and it was arduous having to every time insert that key into the tiny key slot. The quality of my life acutally diminished.
5. Clean my contact lenses the way I was taught as a kid, i.e. rub each one in the centre of your palm 10 times this way, then 10 times that way. Blessedly, no-cleaning storage solution has entered the market, so I can be lazy now with no attendant guilt!
6. Investigate strange sounds at night. What will be will be.
7. Get up during a nap to visit the loo. Rather I will lie there, uncomfortable and ruing the fact that I drank whatever it was I last drank.
8. Make two trips from the car into the house if I can somehow balance everything and make it in one trip. I’m pretty much where Frankie was at in the TV show The Middle – I will carry the bag of carrots into the house in the hood of my hoodie if it means I can carry everything inside in one go.
10. Focus overly much when walking through doors, so the odd bruised shoulder is just part of the story of my life!
Do you have any of your own to add?
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